The Gist: A giant walking eyeball from the 8th dimension rubs its tentacles on women’s breasts while roaming in an apartment building

Anyone Famous In It? No. If anything, the director is more famous. Well, infamous more like. I’ll get to that.

How I Watched It: VHS, baby!

So, What Happened? In order to try to explain this movie, I need to tell you about a man. His name is David DeCoteau. And if you have stepped your nasty bare feet into the world of cult cinema, you may know that name. He has directed over 170 films and a lot of them are under fake names. Probably the most “famous” film he made he directed under the name Mary Pickford and that was “A Talking Cat!?!”

Well, Mr. DeCoteau is known for also directing, uh, let’s say, “certain” types of horror films. That mainly star young men. And these young men are typically shirtless and in their underwear. Which leads me to the day I watched The Killer Eye.

I like to thrift shop for VHS tapes, the weirder the better. And some time ago, I found The Killer Eye, read the description and said “Yeah this is up my alley”. And now this week, I FINALLY replaced my broken VCR and after using two “test tapes” (blank VHS tapes that have either nothing on them or something I don’t care if I lose) and satisfied that I’m not gonna lose the tape, decided to pick a Horror Thursday film that was on VHS. So in goes The Killer Eye.

After learning it’s a Full Moon Films feature and watching trailers for Subspecies 4 and some killer motorcycle movie that isn’t even listed on their Wikipedia, the film starts with a scientist named Grady welcoming in a young man from the streets and we get a very long camera shot of this young man starting from his feet and slowly working its way to his head. And as this was happening, something familiar came to mind. I looked at the VHS box and it said it was directed by someone named Richard Chasen.

Knowing a fake name when I see it, I did .5 seconds of Googling, and it was confirmed. This is a David DeCoteau film. This will now explain the rest of the film. Which there isn’t much to explain.

Ok, here’s what’s going on. Scientist Grady wants to view into the 8th dimension, which gets said so often and so casually it made me wonder if this was a series of films or something. He invented a type of eyedrop that when put into your eyes and you peer into this microscope/telescope thing you should be able to see the 8th dimension. This is where the young man comes in. He’s not really given a name, but the actor’s name is Ryan so I’m going with that.
Grady tells Ryan to put the eyedrops in his left eye and when he feels a tingle, look into the micro-telescope thingy. Then Rita enters. Rita is the following things that we learn in the first 30 seconds she’s on camera:

-Horny
-Rich
-Married to Grady
-Super horny
-Hates Grady
-Funding Grady’s experiments
-Fucking the neighbors because
-She’s really fucking horny

While Rita leaves to go find someone to fuck, Ryan feels a tingle in his eye, investigates the tele-microscope and then suddenly a giant eye monster from the 8th dimension pops out of his head, killing Ryan.

What you need to know about the giant eye monster: it’s huge, constantly has a ball of lighting in its pupil, and it has long tentacles that will be use later. But first it reads two posters on human reproductive system then it scampers away. Grady returns to find Ryan dead and missing an eye.

Rita shows up at the neighbor’s house, two muscle-headed jocks named Joe and Tom. Joe and Tom spend THE ENTIRE FILM only in their boxers. David DeCoteau confirmed! Anyway, these guys must be bi-sexual and dating each other because they only have one bed. And Rita comes over to fuck them. And, by fuck I mean Joe sits in a chair and rubs his chest, stomach, and legs while Tom kisses Rita’s legs, thighs, and back. This goes on, no joke, for 5 minutes.

Somehow, this wears both Tom and Joe out and they fall asleep. Rita, who didn’t actually get penetrated, is disappointed, but doesn’t leave.

We then meet Morton and Jane, a married couple who also live in the apartment building. Morton is Grady’s assistant and finally has a night off so he and Jane can go out. But Grady comes a-calling to help dispose of Ryan’s body. The movie spends 15 minutes on this whole “getting rid of the body” thing but I’m gonna sum it up here:

Grady and Morton stuff the body into a crate, ask their other neighbor Creepy Bill, to put it in the attic for them, and Creepy Bill who is more weird than creepy, looks in the crate, finds the dead body, and doesn’t care.

Now that we’re done with that, let’s get to the main part of the movie. The killer eye seducing the girls. First, the eye shows up at the bed Tom, Joe, and Rita are sleeping in. The eye slides a tentacle up the sheets and rubs it on Rita. Eventually, Rita gets topless as a tentacle is rubbing on her boobs.

You know, sometimes, filmmakers don’t show us enough and we don’t understand what just happened. Not David DeCoteau! He WANTS YOU TO KNOW, GOD DAMMIT, A GIANT EYE FROM THE 8th DIMENSION IS RUBBING ITS TENTACLE ON A WOMAN!! And possibly having sex. We don’t see penetration (it’s not that kind of movie) but we do get that something is happening.

And if seeing it happen with Rita for 5 minutes wasn’t enough, DON’T YOU WORRY! We see the eye do it with Jane! For the same amount of time!! This time, Jane is in the shower so she’s already naked. Also, the killer eye zaps the women anytime they see it so they don’t get freaked out and let the tentacles do their thing.

The rest of the film becomes the men, lead by Grady, in trying to capture the eye. They learn the eye wants to bring more killer eyes from the 8th dimension and they want to prepare for an invasion. Rita bounces back and forth from various men trying to get fucked. The eye tries to seduce Jane again while Morton is watching/rubbing his chest repeatedly.

The eye, it turns out, can possess people only when it wants to. It possessed Ryan’s dead body, then Tom (or Joe, it was hard to tell them apart, being shirtless and wearing the same kind of underwear and all) before possessing Grady, who gives into the demands of the killer eye.

Oh yeah. “Killer” eye. It doesn’t so much as “kill” anyone but seduce, wiggle it’s tentacle on women, then zap people making them forget about seeing it-

Oh my god! The killer eye is roofie’ing everybody! Man, they be wild in the 8th dimension, yo!

Grady wants the killer eye to bring other killer eyes to our dimension. Morton figures out that bright lights bother the eye. The killer eye makes Creepy Bill vanish somehow, with no explanation on where he went. Rita uses a giant spotlight and shines it on the eye, who proceeds to suck itself through the tele-microscope. As it’s doing that, Grady begs to go with and gets sucked in too. Everyone goes “yay no more killer eye” until both Rita and Jane suddenly feel baby killer eyes kicking in their bodies.

Final Thoughts: This was a fucking wild ride. It’s really not good. At all. It’s very repetitious. The setting is only this apartment building and we go from the lab to Tom and Joe’s apartment to Jane and Morton’s apartment to the attic and back to the lab, starting over. There was really no threat and I’m sure once the eye got outside into the sun it would’ve died. But what’s funny is I’ve seen WORSE David DeCoteau films. Films that literally just meandered for 10 minutes. I’ve seen A Talking Cat?!? a few times. Compared to those, this is an Oscar winning film. But I recommend this lightly. You definitely need to have seen other bad movies before. Don’t make this your first one. You’ll be miserable. And just know, going in, what to expect. Also you probably don’t have to pause the movie if you need to get a refill or use the bathroom.

Rating: 1 out of 5.